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The exams are finally over and the holidays are nearing, but I do not feel happy at all, not one bit. The results have already been known and I am not pleased with one of my subjects. Even though my other subjects did fairly well, it was because of one subject that just ruin my day. I know that I should not let one paper to saddened my holiday mood but what can I do. I admit, I am quite " grade-hungry"( it is not a real word, I just made it up from the word" power-hungry")I am not contented with an A2 for the subject that I excelled in Primary school and term 1. People would say that A2 is very good ALREADY, that I should be contented.Many of the other students that had poorer results would say that I am very. Then parents will go on about the lecture on grades is not everything , just that next time need to do better. The fact that people keep saying that grades are not important sometimes infuriate me. I agree that grades are not everything but they are still very important. In the future,when you apply for a job, the first thing the interviewer look at you is your grades. Yes, it is your grades that help you to be employed. If a person with no education and a person with a secondary school education are competing for a job, naturally the one the has an education will get the job.Similarly, the one that have better grades have a higher chance of getting the job.
My parents always console me that if I failed or did not so well, you should just study harder for the next test. This grades are not important. I disagree with them. All the test must be done to your best of your capability and I know that I can do so much better yet I didn't. It was due to carelessness that made me very disappointed. The subject I was disappointed was Science. All along my science was always one of the best and in the last term,I got an A1.This time, I only got a 29 and a half /40. What made me so sore is that I missed half a mark from an A1. It was so i infuriating. My test paper was filled with careless errors. Also, my last page had a big fat zero as I had no time to finish the paper. If I had added a zero to one of my answers, I could have gotten what I want. It was because of that single digit that pulled me down to and A2. People would say I am very" bad", not contented with and A2 which some people yearn for but I still cannot accept the fact that I got an A2. Seeing more than half the class able to get and A1 and see them jump for joy made the pain worse. No matter how many word of condolence cannot make me accept my grades.
Grades are important to me as it gives me pride which is the reward for myself of all the hard work I had put in. It is the fuel that keeps me up to continue to strive for excellence. Without the fuel, even the best cars or any type of vehicle cannot travel far.The fact that people continuously say it is alright,never mind the grades, they are still good, you should accept the grades, you should accept failure. It is easier said that done. The biggest hurdle is to overcome oneself. Like in war, the greatest hurdle is not to kill the enemy but it is the courage you need to muster to go to the front line and fight. Similarly, it is not the journey to get good grades but the ability to stand up from failure and continue is important. I know this, I have heard this countless times but when I come face to face with the situation,I am still unable to apply this. It is just to hard accepting facts that I do not want to face. You may say I am a coward not facing the music but I know many of the people cannot face their results and their parents. It is naturally that you want to avoid reality as it is too bitter to handle. However, life is like that. Sooner or later,I need to face the music. Soon, I have to accept the grade. It is unchangeable. What is done is done. It will always be like this though sometimes you do get a second chance.Those are the lucky ones. Now the greatest hurdle I have yet to overcome. I just hope I have the courage to face it.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Friday, May 08, 2009
Tragic Wars
Have you ever wonder why people have wars? Why do people still engage in such senseless fighting? Wars have destroyed our world, leaving many homeless and hungry. The after-effects of wars are as devastating as the number of people killed in the front line. I do not understand why people are willing to sacrifice their lives to fight. What do they get? Peace? No! This may lead to more fighting. More people are killed,tortured or starve to death. After watching the episode on World War Two on History Channel, Many questions are raised in my head, " Why do we have wars"
Is there a good war. I say that war is never good, no matter the circumstances.Firstly, it affects greatly the economic growth of a country. When war breaks out, people live in terror of being attacked. People stop going to work and others fled in great numbers to other countries. Much of infrastructure will be destroyed to bits. The industry will come to a standstill and a recession will occur. With nobody working, the country cannot grow and prosper. Even after the war, as much of infrastructure are destroyed, large amount of effort must be used to build up the industry again.
Another problem is that there will be a food shortage. As news of war breaks out, people flock to provision stores to stock up on food as they fear they will have a shortage of food.As demand for food increase, prices of food will increase. As prices soar, poorer people cannot afford these food items and they starve. It is not due to war in the early stages that cause people to go hungry but it is the people who flock to stock up food that caused the shortage. Also, during war, most of the food will go to the army as they take priorities over civilians.They need their strength to fight and defend their countries. As more food go to the soldiers, less food will be available to people. Furthermore, enemies fighter planes would tend to destroy plantation as it will cut of the their enemies food sources. This will slowly destroy the enemy as they need food and without it, they are useless. If the army suffer, the civilians follow suit.
The biggest problem is they many people die in war. In reference to Animal Farm, a book that is an allegory of the Russian Revolution, showed the the invasion of Russia by Germany. In that single war, 55million people, including civilians and troops ,were killed. The number is 11 times more than the total population of my country. Enemies bomb the cities with bombs, blast the infrastructure to the ground with tanks and the uncountable rounds of bullets of machine guns punch into the bodies of people, killing innocent life. That is the true tragedy of war, people sacrificing their lives.
With so many disadvantages of war, why people fight and engage in war? Many of people will say to defend your country. It is understandable that you want to be patriotic and defend your home from invaders. They want to protect the people, the people they love. The main reason for the start of war is that higher ranking people power-hungry. Some people just want to be more powerful than others so they can get control and rule the world. Power will come with money so their greed sometimes blind them from the devastating effects of war. Now, in the real world, many countries are building up on their weapons. They may say that they want to protect themselves from invasion but who knows, some countries may be plotting to engage in another war.They want to have an edge over the other countries. These people yearn for power as they make use of other people to their benefit. Also, people start war was to regain their dignity. In World War 2, Adoff Hitler hated the Allied Nations because of World War 1. After the fall of Germany of World War 1, the Allied Nations took most of their land and destroyed all the weapons in Germany. There was a recession in Germany and many people starve. It was humiliating when Germany lost the war, so the hatred grew within Hitler to regain Germany's dignity and show the world the power of Germany. That was the cause for World War 2.
This is one reason that I thought of but I know that there are many reasons for the cause of it but is hidden. With so many disadvantages, I can't understand why people still blindly fight. In the course of war, many people kill each other mercilessly.It is a gruesome sight. As the saying goes" a lion will never attack her cubs"Even a fierce lion will not attack her cubs, so why humans attack other humans. We are all of the same kind, we are all humans. If we kill each other, isn't it showing we are no better or worse than a beast. Why can't we sit down, talk and come to an agreement. Peace is the only way that will benefit the human race. War will only destroy our kind. If all these fighting just stop and have world peace, everyone will be happy. Nobody will die and everyone wins. This a what everybody wants. However, this is a utopia state and it will be inpossible due to human nature of being power-hungry. I wish the fighting would stop.
Is there a good war. I say that war is never good, no matter the circumstances.Firstly, it affects greatly the economic growth of a country. When war breaks out, people live in terror of being attacked. People stop going to work and others fled in great numbers to other countries. Much of infrastructure will be destroyed to bits. The industry will come to a standstill and a recession will occur. With nobody working, the country cannot grow and prosper. Even after the war, as much of infrastructure are destroyed, large amount of effort must be used to build up the industry again.
Another problem is that there will be a food shortage. As news of war breaks out, people flock to provision stores to stock up on food as they fear they will have a shortage of food.As demand for food increase, prices of food will increase. As prices soar, poorer people cannot afford these food items and they starve. It is not due to war in the early stages that cause people to go hungry but it is the people who flock to stock up food that caused the shortage. Also, during war, most of the food will go to the army as they take priorities over civilians.They need their strength to fight and defend their countries. As more food go to the soldiers, less food will be available to people. Furthermore, enemies fighter planes would tend to destroy plantation as it will cut of the their enemies food sources. This will slowly destroy the enemy as they need food and without it, they are useless. If the army suffer, the civilians follow suit.
The biggest problem is they many people die in war. In reference to Animal Farm, a book that is an allegory of the Russian Revolution, showed the the invasion of Russia by Germany. In that single war, 55million people, including civilians and troops ,were killed. The number is 11 times more than the total population of my country. Enemies bomb the cities with bombs, blast the infrastructure to the ground with tanks and the uncountable rounds of bullets of machine guns punch into the bodies of people, killing innocent life. That is the true tragedy of war, people sacrificing their lives.
With so many disadvantages of war, why people fight and engage in war? Many of people will say to defend your country. It is understandable that you want to be patriotic and defend your home from invaders. They want to protect the people, the people they love. The main reason for the start of war is that higher ranking people power-hungry. Some people just want to be more powerful than others so they can get control and rule the world. Power will come with money so their greed sometimes blind them from the devastating effects of war. Now, in the real world, many countries are building up on their weapons. They may say that they want to protect themselves from invasion but who knows, some countries may be plotting to engage in another war.They want to have an edge over the other countries. These people yearn for power as they make use of other people to their benefit. Also, people start war was to regain their dignity. In World War 2, Adoff Hitler hated the Allied Nations because of World War 1. After the fall of Germany of World War 1, the Allied Nations took most of their land and destroyed all the weapons in Germany. There was a recession in Germany and many people starve. It was humiliating when Germany lost the war, so the hatred grew within Hitler to regain Germany's dignity and show the world the power of Germany. That was the cause for World War 2.
This is one reason that I thought of but I know that there are many reasons for the cause of it but is hidden. With so many disadvantages, I can't understand why people still blindly fight. In the course of war, many people kill each other mercilessly.It is a gruesome sight. As the saying goes" a lion will never attack her cubs"Even a fierce lion will not attack her cubs, so why humans attack other humans. We are all of the same kind, we are all humans. If we kill each other, isn't it showing we are no better or worse than a beast. Why can't we sit down, talk and come to an agreement. Peace is the only way that will benefit the human race. War will only destroy our kind. If all these fighting just stop and have world peace, everyone will be happy. Nobody will die and everyone wins. This a what everybody wants. However, this is a utopia state and it will be inpossible due to human nature of being power-hungry. I wish the fighting would stop.
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
I blew it
Recently, I got very worked up over a misunderstanding. It was very trivial matter but I certainly did not think so at that time. It was something that made me very angry. However, after I had cooled down, I reflected on my behaviour and felt I was being unreasonable. This matter had actually weaken friendship. It is something I am not proud of and all these unnecessary conflicts should and could be avoided if I remained calm. Now, I am regretting my actions and felt rather guilty about it. I certainly blew it this time.
A few days ago, my friend wrote something about me concerning my flaws. When I had read it, I felt " betrayed" in a sense and got very angry. I could not accept the fact other was criticising my shortcomings.He actually did not disclosed my name but I knew it was me. Yet,pride inside me forced me to do something that portrayed me as a petty fool. In a fit of rage, I sent an sms to rebut and scold him.I think I wrote some hurtful remarks at him and wrote it in an offensive manner. I wonder if my friend got insulted.I am ashamed of myself,for what I had done. It not only leave a bad impression of me, also and more importantly, I weaken my friendship with him.
After, cooling done, I did some reflecting. It was very stupid of me to scold my friend for writing about me. What he did was to write what he felt and that was all. He did not deliberately intend to spite and or my patience.I should be thankful that people point out my shortcomings. It is only by knowing your flaws, then you can work and improve on oneself. Yet, I just had to rebut my friend. Why did I do that? What could I gain from it. It was I who was unreasonable. It was my pride and anger that caused this hold ordeal. Anger had clouded my thoughts and provoked the side of me I never knew.I had not thought through thoroughly before acting.My words could have hurt his feelings and my actions could have hurt our friendship. I am utterly disappointed at myself. Now, I do not really dare to face him. He may seemed not disturbed by the matter but I know he had be affected in one way or another. I just HAD to spout hurtful remarks at him. Sigh...
In our daily life, we will come across matters that infuriate us. It just make our blood boils. We always like our anger get the better of us. This result in unnecessary conflicts that we do not benefit from them at all. It cause hassle that could affect us physically or emotionally. All these can be avoided if we just kept calm. With a clear mind, it is natural that you can solve the problem with ease. Anger can affect our judgement in all areas. We are clouded with angry thoughts resulting in prejudice or hurling hurtful remarks. One must know how to control his anger so he can make the right decision. It is because of anger that made us do things that we regret. After the ordeal have passed, if you sit and reflect, you will think " Why did I do this? Why didn't I just do this?" So we must take things with a calm mind to decide and act accordingly. This time I have made the wrong decision but I am willing to change. Next time, when I meet with conflicts, I will not act rashly anymore. Sorry, friend for my childish and foolish act. I apologise if I had insulted you in any way.
A few days ago, my friend wrote something about me concerning my flaws. When I had read it, I felt " betrayed" in a sense and got very angry. I could not accept the fact other was criticising my shortcomings.He actually did not disclosed my name but I knew it was me. Yet,pride inside me forced me to do something that portrayed me as a petty fool. In a fit of rage, I sent an sms to rebut and scold him.I think I wrote some hurtful remarks at him and wrote it in an offensive manner. I wonder if my friend got insulted.I am ashamed of myself,for what I had done. It not only leave a bad impression of me, also and more importantly, I weaken my friendship with him.
After, cooling done, I did some reflecting. It was very stupid of me to scold my friend for writing about me. What he did was to write what he felt and that was all. He did not deliberately intend to spite and or my patience.I should be thankful that people point out my shortcomings. It is only by knowing your flaws, then you can work and improve on oneself. Yet, I just had to rebut my friend. Why did I do that? What could I gain from it. It was I who was unreasonable. It was my pride and anger that caused this hold ordeal. Anger had clouded my thoughts and provoked the side of me I never knew.I had not thought through thoroughly before acting.My words could have hurt his feelings and my actions could have hurt our friendship. I am utterly disappointed at myself. Now, I do not really dare to face him. He may seemed not disturbed by the matter but I know he had be affected in one way or another. I just HAD to spout hurtful remarks at him. Sigh...
In our daily life, we will come across matters that infuriate us. It just make our blood boils. We always like our anger get the better of us. This result in unnecessary conflicts that we do not benefit from them at all. It cause hassle that could affect us physically or emotionally. All these can be avoided if we just kept calm. With a clear mind, it is natural that you can solve the problem with ease. Anger can affect our judgement in all areas. We are clouded with angry thoughts resulting in prejudice or hurling hurtful remarks. One must know how to control his anger so he can make the right decision. It is because of anger that made us do things that we regret. After the ordeal have passed, if you sit and reflect, you will think " Why did I do this? Why didn't I just do this?" So we must take things with a calm mind to decide and act accordingly. This time I have made the wrong decision but I am willing to change. Next time, when I meet with conflicts, I will not act rashly anymore. Sorry, friend for my childish and foolish act. I apologise if I had insulted you in any way.
Friday, May 01, 2009
My Arch Foe
I struggle with it everyday, trying to overcome it, to suppress it. But somehow or another, it reveals itself, causing me much worries. My enemy is not a being, rather, it is something people detest. It is forgetfulness. Yes, forgetfulness. It had brought me pain and much worries ever since the start of school. Oh how I wish I had a better memory, remembering what to do. Recently, it is up to mischief again. It once again never fail to land me is trouble...
Yesterday, I was suppose to hand in a science worksheet. In the end, I did not hand it in to the science representative who was suppose to collect and give them to the teacher. You know why? It was my forgetfulness. I am not trying to push the blame. Yes, it is my own fault that actually cause my blunder as forgetfulness is a part of me. This infuriates me even more. I remember that morning, I remembered to hand the science worksheet in. However, as it was time for assembly, I hurried to the meeting point and thought that I would hand it in later. Then... sigh.. Forgetfulness was up to its tricks AGAIN! I forgot to hand it in. I had the whole day to hand it in including recess and after school. Yet, I could not remember to do it. Curse my forgetfulness. Now I have yet to face my punishment from the teacher.
I remember there was a time that my forgetfulness caused quite a damage. I was in Primary school, going on an excursion to the Old Folk's Home. It so happened to fall during the June holidays. Guess what? I forgot! That day when I woke up, I still did not know that the excursion had slipped my mind. It was only when my friend that went on the excursion told me about it then I realised what had happened. Amazing how forgetfulness can wipe your memory. I was quite excited about the trip too.
Even during my daily life, I have experience much forgetfulness. For example, while studying in my room, I realised I need to take my books in my bag downstairs. So I made my way down. Many times I make a detour to the kitchen and snack on some chips or bread. When I have had my fill, I rush up to my room, forgetting what the real purpose of going downstairs. Then, I will become frustrated and return downstairs to take items from my bag. See how forgetfulness had cause me to waste time.
Forgetfulness is something everyone tries to overcome. Sometimes we are just to busy that we forget meetings, goals, things to do and things to remember, especially meetings. Meetings are very important and once you fail to turn up it is most likely to cause you to be fired by your boss in the working world. In school, you may be blasted my your teachers as they feel forgetfulness is an excuse. Yes, you may say that you can control it and it is your fault that you forget to do something. Sometimes, it is really out of your hands. For example, I keep a diary so that I will remember to do homework, hand it up or go for meetings. However, I am so forgetful that sometimes, I forget to check my diary or even forget to take notes in it. See the logical? Forgetfulness is something you can be avoided but not totally prevented. It is only after a lesson then you put more effort to remember. But how I wish I need not face the bitter confrontation. Why can't my enemy just leave me alone and disappear?
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