Caught in the middle of a cold war

Sigh...the cold war has recently begun.

So what is this cold war.?It is not the period when the United States of America was on bad relations with the Soviet Union or Russia today. This “war” actually is happening in class. This war has no bombshell sound or gun fire but rather it is silent. My friends stopped talking to each other. This chilling silence began around a few days ago...

I know the term "cold war" since I was in primary school because I used to see my parents in that state. My mum ignored my Dad and then the silence. However this war was short and they soon began to talk. I wonder about this one, will the silence last?

Last year, when I was doing project in a group, there were internal problems. Everyone was unhappy and seriously felt like giving a punch into the face of the other. It was because of the project that kept us together. After the judging of the project, we sort of fell out. We did not talk much and we found new friends. This was a miniature form of the cold war. Well, I managed to salvage a friendly relationship with one friend and he still is a friend. It took about 1 year to get the relationship back into a friendly state. The other one I am not so close but we are classmates on fairly-well terms.

I have three friends which I am on great terms with. We do talk and laugh although sometimes at me but we had fun. I am not sure what happened but the three stopped talking to each other. They still talk to me and still are my friends but they treat each other like strangers ignoring each other. Two of them got very irritated by one of them and then "Poof", the silence ensued.

I believe one of my friends got frustrated because that friend, having a playful nature, had irritated him beyond his tolerance level. The other one in my group got so pissed off by my friend's lack of planning of the project that he stopped talking. They both ignored him and because they ignored him, he too ignored them. See this cycle? This vicious cycle of silence?

I was often caught in the middle. Since nobody talked to each other, they talked to me. It is not hard to hear each other criticizing about the other friends’ behaviour. I would sit there and like try to "nod" my head and say "okay...." I often had to pass messages between them since they don't talk to each other and like today when I tried to get a group discussion for the project, one sat at the right end of the class room while the other sat at the opposite side. So I was like a little messenger boy walking left to right and right to left trying to get a date to complete the project. I wonder how my project will fair with this lack of communication. Sheesh...

The previous one is not so problematic. I guess the communications is beginning to build up again since we are tied down by the project. The one between the playful boy and the friend who got irritated is more troublesome. It is sad to see friends act like that when they were on good terms like 3 weeks ago. Now, they are really acting like the USA and the USSR except they don't fight which makes it all the scarier.

My friend asked me a weird question before. He said if I kept helping him but when one day I asked him for help but he refused to help and said "you didn't do anything to help me" or something like that, he asked how I would feel, what will I do and think and why. Well, I treat this question as it meant that what you would do if your friend did something horrible to you. My answer was that I would be angry, walk off and sleep over it. The next day, talk to the person like nothing happened. I would think the person had a bad day so I will not rebut him which would make the situation more complicated nor would fight him as it would only worsen the relationship. I have a policy when making friends. That is to forgive and forget. Though I won't say I can fully abide by it but I do try hard. When one of my friends gave me a huge task to do by the next day, I got very angry since he was like demanding it rather than requesting it and log off Msn to prevent any more conflict. Then, I calmed myself down, did the task till 2am.I try not to bear grudges and gave him the completed task for the project.

I am a guy with few friends and fewer enemies to be honest. I try not to antagonize anyone and try to have a more than average classmate’s relationship with people. I know I need to be kind and patient since I would like others to be kind and patient with me. Seeing others having problems and they have come to ask me to clarify their doubts, I try to welcome and help them. Patience is the key and don't make them feel they are dumb by saying "You still don't get it? Or what is so hard about it?" That is perhaps the worst thing you can say. Help them and they and you will go away happy. Also, do not make witty comments that insult others. That is simply not nice. I try to hold it in sometimes but most of the time I do not come out with insulting comments. Perhaps it is by nature, I am not too sure. Oh and you can join in their activities. Be it computer games or sports, being present and keeping them company also help.

I know all these might seem that I am preaching but this is what I do to maintain a friendly relationship with everyone. I like everyone to be friendly to each other even though that may be impossible due to differences in attitudes, nature and attributes etc. I just hope the cold war would soon end and life would return to normal (friendly state)